Introducing the Co-hosts of St Luke’s Carers Group
Nadine: The value of meeting others who understand
Caring can be incredibly isolating. The focus is naturally on the person you’re caring for, and over time, caring can become all-encompassing. It can feel as though there is less and less time for yourself, friends and everyday life.
That’s why it’s so valuable to meet with other people who understand what you’re going through. I volunteer as a co-host of the St Luke’s Carers Coffee and Cake group alongside Melinda because I believe it’s so important for carers to meet others who truly understand their experiences.
Sometimes being a carer can feel like you’re on a hamster wheel, doing the same things day in, day out. It can start to affect you mentally, particularly when there is little opportunity for a break. The responsibility can feel constant and relentless. It can also be difficult to talk to friends who aren’t carers, without feeling as though you’re always talking about the same challenges.
Meeting others in a similar situation gives you the opportunity to share how you’re feeling with people who understand. You don’t have to explain everything – they simply get it.
Sharing experiences and helpful ideas
Although many carers have similar experiences, every caring role is different. The way I care for my Mum, and what works for us, might be completely different from what works for someone else caring for their Mum.
That’s one of the great things about coming together as a group. You can pick up tips, ideas and useful recommendations – whether that’s information about financial support, local services, or even practical recommendations such as a mobile hairdresser or chiropodist.
You often don’t discover these things unless you talk to other people and share what you’ve found.
A chance to emotionally offload
As a carer, you can also carry a huge emotional load. It can be a real rollercoaster, and you might feel guilty about involving other people in the care of the person you’re looking after.
Talking these feelings through with other carers can help you keep a sense of perspective and remind you that we’re all human – none of us can be superhuman all the time.
Sometimes it’s simply a relief to have somewhere to talk about your worries and concerns and get things off your chest. It can also feel good to do something completely normal, such as having a coffee with other people, away from your usual caring environment.
A welcoming space
St Luke’s Community Centre is a lovely, modern and welcoming space, with a great atmosphere and lots going on.
There are lunches available every day too, so at the end of the monthly Carers Coffee and Cake session, those who don’t need to rush home can choose to have lunch together and continue the conversation.
I really enjoy the sessions. Melinda and I are there to welcome everyone, make cups of tea and coffee, answer questions where we can, and signpost people to Islington Carers Hub when they need additional support.
Melinda: A lifetime of caring
Caring is my life, and I feel it is also my purpose. I have been caring for people for most of my life.
I started working as a carer in Spain when I was 18, before coming to England. My mum was a physiotherapist and a single mother who also worked as a carer, so caring was something I grew up around. From an early age, I saw how meaningful it can be to support another person and make a difference in their life.
Since coming to England, I have continued to work in caring roles. I have provided cover for an elderly woman when her regular carer was away, and I spent seven years working as a personal carer and driver for a young woman with cerebral palsy, supporting her both at home and while travelling around England and abroad.
Caring for my children
I have three children, and caring for them has been one of the biggest parts of my life. Each of them has had different needs, giving me experience of supporting physical disabilities, learning difficulties, neurodivergence and long-term health conditions.
Supporting my children has meant learning about their individual needs, advocating for them and navigating health, education and social care services.
It has also taught me that caring does not stop when a child becomes an adult. Their needs change, and so does the support they require.
I have had to learn to be persistent, adaptable and resourceful. My experiences have given me a real understanding of how complicated caring can be and how important it is for families to have someone who can advocate for them, listen to them and help them navigate different systems.
Caring for Rosa
I have also cared for Rosa, a woman I have supported for around seven years.
After Rosa needed additional support, I wanted to help her return home, and she eventually came to live with me and my family.
Rosa has now moved into a care home in Islington, but I continue to visit and support her. Over the years, we have become like family.
Caring for Rosa has taught me once again that care is about much more than practical support. It is about companionship, trust, dignity, patience and making someone feel that they matter.
Looking after yourself – and each other
My advice to other carers is simple: prioritise yourself.
If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you look after someone else?
That is one reason the Carers Coffee and Cake sessions at St Luke’s are so important to me. Nadine and I welcome carers into a relaxed and friendly space where people can talk, share experiences and learn from one another.
As carers, we often become experts in the needs of the people we support, but that does not mean we have to manage everything alone.
There is real value in meeting other people who understand. We can exchange practical information, hear from guest speakers and discover support available within our community.
For me, caring is about purpose, but it is also about connection.
Sometimes, simply sitting down with a cup of tea and talking to someone who understands can make a real difference.
Come and join us
We look forward to welcoming carers to St Luke’s Carers Coffee and Cake – whether you have been before or are coming for the first time.
Come along for a coffee, a chat and the chance to meet people who understand.
Sometimes, it’s simply good to know that you’re not alone.
Carers Coffee and Cake @ St Lukes
Fourth Tuesday of the month, 10.30am – 12pm
St Lukes Community Centre, 90 Central St, London EC1V 8AJ
Open to anyone looking after a friend or family member in Islington. Enjoy a coffee and a chat with other carers, once a month. Regular guest speakers!
To book: info@islingtoncarershub.org or call 020 7281 3319 (Monday to Friday 9am – 5pm)
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